


quandary

by miastree



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Getting Together, Hogwarts Seventh Year, James "Couples Counsellor" Potter, M/M, Marauder's Era, Mutual Pining, give james an award, honestly it's ridiculous at this point, oblivious boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 09:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9716012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miastree/pseuds/miastree
Summary: There's also the small.. big... problem that Remus has, other than the furry one and the grades one and the worrying-about-the-future one and the money one, and that's his Sirius Problem.He's come to the conclusion that the fluttery feeling in his chest will never really go away.





	

**Author's Note:**

> another piece I wrote ages ago and decided to post here because I loved it so much. enjoy :)

During their first year at Hogwarts, the Marauders aren't yet the best of friends, but it's hard now to believe there was a period of time where they didn't know one another.

Six years later, they're older but they're still just as inseparable (and Professor McGonagall might say they're just as insufferable, although James Potter would scoff at such an accusation). They still share the same dormitory, although they are quickly outgrowing it; Remus Lupin shot up two summers ago and his toes stick out over the end of the bed. He supposes that nobody had thought about charming the beds so they grow along with their occupants.

The Marauders still get up to the same mischief they've always occupied themselves with. Remus does it begrudgingly, especially after he was appointed as a Prefect during his fifth year. (Nobody seemed particularly surprised by this fact, because Remus is otherwise a model student - Sirius had still, however, yelled "BETRAYAL!" after hearing the news).

The seventh year isn't going to be any different, Remus thinks as he boards the train. The new year never is; schoolwork was different, harder, and the way they were expected to act always changed, but the Marauders stay much the same every year.

Remus finds his friends in a compartment, arguing over Chocolate Frog cards and throwing Every-Flavour Beans at one another. He grins. It's a scene he's forgotten how much he missed witnessing.

As soon as he slides open the compartment door, Sirius ceases throwing jellybeans at James and pulls a face. James, however, ignores this, and beams at him.

"Remus, my dear old werewolf," he croons. "How are you? Good summer?"

"Yes, great, thanks - perhaps Sirius' wasn't, though?" Remus gestures to the aforementioned long-haired Marauder, who is still pulling a face, and sits down across from him.

"Ah," James says. "Well -"

"I'm bitter," Sirius interrupts helpfully.

James snorts as Remus raises an eyebrow and helps himself to a Pumpkin Pasty. "You're what, now?"

"I'm bitter. Sour. Irritated. Completely and utterly disgusted. One might say betrayed."

James scoffs and rolls his eyes, launching an acid green jellybean at an unsuspecting Peter. It hits him straight between the eyes.

"Hey!" Peter yelps.

"And why is that?" Remus asks once he swallows his mouthful of Pumpkin Pasty.

Sirius nods his head towards James and lightly kicks Remus' shoe. "Him. Betrayal."

"Well, these singular words aren't revealing an awful lot," Remus says, and glances over at James. "Care to tell me what this is about?"

James grins sheepishly and taps the badge glinting on his chest. Head Boy, it boasts.

James Potter was Head Boy?

Remus feels a laugh bubble up in his throat. Professor McGonagall always has had a soft spot for James, and even if he was a mischief maker he was a very reliable and honest man.

"Ah," Remus repeats James' earlier comment, trying not to laugh. "I see."

"Moony!" Sirius wails. "Please take this seriously! It's a betrayal of the highest degree!"

Remus can sense Peter is itching to make one of his usual siriusly jokes, so quickly speaks. "So it is."

"I don't think it's that bad," Peter interjects instead. "We can get away with a bunch of good stuff now."

Sirius shoots him a sidelong look: not annoyed but not entirely pleased either. "We got away with it anyway, Wormtail."

Peter ignores him and eats another jellybean, pulling a face and choking once he realises its taste is akin to that of vomit.

Remus snorts and shakes his head. "Well, there isn't much we can do about it, in any case. What's done is done, I suppose."

Sirius grunts.

"At least I can take points off the Slytherins," James says knowledgeably (and very loudly, as if he's only just realised this is the case). Sirius ignores him because he's right.

"Who's Head Girl, then?" Remus asks. He already has a sneaking suspicion as to whom it might be, but James Potter as Head Boy has thrown all of reality off kilter. Anything could happen, really.

"Lily Evans," James, Sirius and Peter all chorus, each with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Remus laughs. "I thought it might be her. It's a good job she's kind of friendly towards you now, Prongs, otherwise your job would be very difficult."

James grins widely, his eyes glazed over in some sort of daze. "Yes.. friendly. She is, isn't she?"

Sirius and Remus exchange amused glances. James is known to get like this when Lily Evans is mentioned, and Sirius got over it years ago. Remus and Peter both think it's hilarious.

The four sit in each others' company until Remus and James have to go and make their rounds of the train. Peter and Sirius sit and throw Every-Flavour Beans into one another's mouth from opposite ends of the compartment whilst awaiting their return.

Sirius continues to pretend he's not proud of James for his Head Boy achievement. All four of them know he's actually the proudest of them all.

* * *

Hogwarts has always felt special to Remus. His home is small and cosy, and he loves it dearly, but there is something about Hogwarts that has always intrigued him. Maybe it's the magic; his house isn't all that magic.

Perhaps it's the feast.

However, he is definitely growing out of his dormitory bed now, he decides as he lies on top of his sheets with his eyes closed.

"Your feet are practically sticking off the end," Sirius comments as the four of them get ready to sleep that night. Well, three; James had said he'd meet them upstairs, as he's to hang behind with Lily. Good on him, Remus supposes. He's been waiting long enough.

"So they are," Remus agrees, his eyes still closed.

Sirius scoffs at this short response and begins to get ready for bed. Peter yawns.

"You know, I wonder if this year is going to be much different from the last one," Peter says. "It never is."

Remus smiles, opening his eyes and sitting up to face the room. "You know, I thought exactly the same thing earlier."

Peter grins sleepily, pulls his sheets up past his nose and doesn't say anything else. Sirius rolls his eyes at the small boy and tugs off his shirt.

By accident, Remus makes a strange, strangled noise in the back of his throat. Sirius, with his hair trapped in one of his shirt buttons, doesn't notice.

There's also the small (big) problem that Remus has, other than the furry one and the grades one and the worrying-about-the-future one and the money one, and that's his Sirius Problem. Remus has had a giant crush on Sirius since third year, and after three years of experiencing exactly the same flutter of heart when Sirius walks into a room, he's come to the conclusion that the feeling will never really go away.

So, Remus is left to suffer privately and in silence; or so he attempts. He quickly acknowledges that it isn't really in silence if he makes strange noises in the back of his throat at the sign of Sirius shirtless.

Sirius has grown over the summer, Remus notices, as he stares at him. He's not taller than Remus - nobody is, really, as Remus is edging now on six foot three. Honestly? He likes the height difference between him and Sirius. But he's still grown, and to both Remus' delight and dismay, he's packed on some muscle.

The door swings open, interrupting Remus' thoughts, and James Potter parades into the room, stopping short in the centre. He doesn't put his hands on his hips and make an announcement like he usually would, but looks between Sirius and Remus as if he is deducing something.

Remus remembers that look, and it isn't one of the looks anybody desires to rest on James' face.

It's only then that he realises his jaw is still slack from the shirt incident, Sirius is slipping into bed and he's still sat upright. Awkwardly, he coughs and climbs under his sheets.

James Potter just rolls his eyes, makes his way to his bed and yanks the curtains shut around him.

* * *

"Mischief!" James yells.

Remus rolls his eyes and loosens his tie slightly. It's quite warm, for September, and his tie is choking him.

"There is no better feeling than the feeling one gets when up to mischief," James continues. He's standing on a bench, and Remus, Sirius and Peter are staring up at him, all mildly amused.

"What mischief are we up to, exactly?" Peter asks, fiddling with the end of his scarf.

"Ah, Wormtail," James says. "Well... actually, I haven't decided yet. We'll come up with something, I imagine."

He hops down from the bench and Remus sighs hopelessly. Both Sirius and James look at Remus, amused.

"What?" Sirius says with a smirk on his face.

"It's our third day back and already we're up to mischief," Remus says, making quotations with his fingers around the word mischief. "You'd have thought the Head Boy would have something better to do with his time."

Sirius grins and James scoffs. "You'd think so, wouldn't you?" he says proudly. "No, my dear Moony. We're slacking. We should've done something amazing at the Feast on the first night."

James begins to parade off down the corridor and Remus and Sirius exchange entertained glances. Remus lets the eye contact linger for a little longer than it should.

Peter groans at them and starts off after James. Sirius grins at Remus.

"Do you know what mischief James is planning?" Remus asks him.

Sirius rolls his eyes. "Do I ever? Nah, he'll give me a crap idea tomorrow, I'll improve his plan and then I'll help him carry it out."

"Same as always, then?" Remus says as the pair begin following their friends down the corridor to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"Would you expect anything else?" Sirius laughs and then ruffles his hair with his fingers.

Remus doesn't reply. Instead, he tries to regulate his breathing.

"I'm already bored of Defence Against the Dark Arts and I'm not even in it yet," Sirius whines, sounding only mildly troubled.

"You're not bunking off, if that's what you're insinuating," Remus says seriously, breathing trouble instantly forgotten.

Sirius pouts. "You're no fun."

Remus shrugs, but he's smiling. "That's why you love me."

Sirius barks a laugh, takes his hands from his pockets and looks up at Remus. "Yes, Moony, it must be."

Remus feels slightly faint as Sirius sprints, yelling, after James down the corridor.

* * *

"Shit!"

The swearing jolts Remus awake instantly and he groggily sits upright to work out where - who - it came from. He doesn't need to squint into the darkness; his lycanthropy means he has excellent vision both in the dark and the light.

Sirius is standing at the end of his bed.

Remus frowns. "What on earth are you doing?" he whispers. "It's 2am."

"I tripped over some of James' rubbish at the end of his bed," Sirius explains hastily. Remus tries not to notice how husky his voice sounds. Then Sirius narrows his eyes. "You can't tell it's 2am."

"The moon is directly opposite me, of course I can tell it's 2am. Why aren't you asleep?" Remus asks.

"I..." Sirius coughs. "I had a nightmare."

"...Oh."

Remus and James were the only ones that knew about Sirius' nightmares. Peter would know, except Peter was an incredibly heavy sleeper and he never woke up during them. James couldn't be woken during the night if somebody hit him over the head with a Bludger, but Sirius had desperately confided in him during their third year after one of the worst nightmares he'd ever had.

Remus knew about them because he was Remus, and for some reason, Sirius trusts him more than anyone with touchy subjects. He'd once said that James was very trustworthy and understanding, but for some reason Sirius found it difficult to tell him about his past. Remus doesn't argue with his reasoning. Perhaps being a werewolf means you know how to deal with touchy subject matter.

"Do you mind if I..." Sirius trails off. He doesn't have to finish the question. Remus nods, sighing as he falls back against the pillows. Sirius slips in under Remus' sheets and slowly they fall asleep next to one another.

This was a recent thing. It had only began three quarters of the way through their sixth year, as Sirius had finally caved and decided he needed a hug. The hug had lasted all night. Remus didn't complain.

Instead, he tries to ignore it when Sirius takes his hand and squeezes it, or when he moves so close Remus can hear Sirius' heartbeat against his chest.

* * *

Remus opens his eyes to see James Potter standing with his hands on his hips in the centre of the room. This time, it was for a declaration.

"My dear Remus Lupin. Do you care to tell me, perhaps, why I woke up last night to utilise the toilet facilities and stumbled across you and Sirius... cuddling?"

James shudders at the mere mention of cuddling and his hands fall from his hips, the mock sincerity in his eyes replaced with amusement as Remus reddens.

It's true. Sirius had accidentally woken Remus up as he got out of bed, but he hadn't left quickly enough to hide the fact the two had been cuddling. Sirius' back had been pressed against Remus' chest and they'd been holding hands. Remus goes even more red as it crosses his mind.

Sirius is elsewhere now; he often goes on walks in the early hours of the morning, especially after he's had a nightmare, to clear his thoughts. Unfortunately for Remus, this gives James the perfect opportunity to confront him.

Remus stammers, "James, I.. uh. Well."

James raises an eyebrow. Peter snorts from under his sheets. Peter had been lying so still that Remus hadn't even realised he was awake.

"Moony," James says, looking amused. "We know there's something going on between the both of you."

Remus scoffs. "I'm afraid your knowledge is pitifully flawed, Prongs. What source are you using? I suggest you replace it."

"Of course it isn't wrong. I'm always right."

Remus puts his head in his hands. "No, James! This is the dilemma I'm facing. I've been facing it for years. There isn't anything going on, and I'm really not dealing with that very well."

James grins and leans against Remus' bedpost. "Oh, this is good. This is very good indeed. I knew you liked him."

Remus raises his head to shoot him a glare. James isn't phased.

"We can tell from miles away," James continues. "You go to watch Quidditch practice, Moony. You wouldn't do that if he wasn't there. You hate Quidditch."

"Not to mention," Peter says, voice muffled from the sheets he's under, "you go all wibbly when he takes his shirt off. Yes, we do see those facial expressions."

Remus makes yet another indignant noise but he can't find any words to say.

"You always help him with his homework, despite how much you insist you won't do ours," James adds. "He tells you everything, and you listen to it pretty eagerly, might I add."

"He was the first person you told about your furry little problem," Peter interjects, finally emerging from his sheets. His hair is messy but he's grinning, almost as if he was up to mischief.

"He deduced that for himself. I denied it plenty of times when he first found out," Remus defends, but he knows it's no use. Once Sirius had openly displayed how fascinating he thought Remus' lycanthropy was, Remus didn't hide it from him, and the others knew this just as well as he did.

"And the nightmares, he told you about those first," Peter continues. Remus and James both exchange an uneasy glance at this, but Peter rolls his eyes. "I'm not stupid. I know about them, too. He shouts in his sleep, of course it wakes me up."

"Yeah," James says softly, and then, more confidently, "he goes to the library with you. He would never set foot in the library otherwise."

"You hold each other's hands, for god's sake, and we caught you cuddling this morning. You both constantly flirt, too."

James nods, his arms crossed. "The Worm makes some very strong and valid points."

Peter opens his mouth to protest the nickname, but falls silent at Remus' befuddled facial expression.

"Moony?" James says, tentatively, as Remus hasn't spoken in a while.

Remus shakes his head in disbelief. "You guys are saying that... that he..."

"That he likes you too?" Peter snorts and throws off his sheets. "Yeah. We're pretty sure he does."

James turns his attention to the ceiling. "Somehow I feel like we're in first year again, with all this fancying and matchmaking," he says. Peter chortles.

"...But, lads," Remus says, "do you not think that all that stuff is just, well, Sirius? Being Sirius?"

James and Peter, who is putting his slippers on, exchange a tortured glance.

"That's the thing, Moony," James says. "It isn't, but he's like that with you so much that you don't know the difference."

Peter goes to agree but looks slightly confused at James' explanation. Remus understands, though, and wears a facial expression that is a mixture between pained and overjoyed.

* * *

"Gracious, Moony, that book is rather huge," Sirius says overly loudly as he enters the library, sets down his potions book on the table and sits opposite Remus.

Remus glares at him. "Ssh, Sirius. This is a library, you're meant to be quiet."

"Ssh, psh," Sirius scoffs, but he does it more quietly than before. "What are you reading?"

Remus briefly flashes him the front cover. "It's a Tolstoy novel. War and Peace."

"Looks like a chore rather than a novel," James says over Remus' shoulder, making him jump. He hadn't even realised James was there. This flashes up a red flag in Remus' mind, especially now he's been alerted to it; maybe he does become otherwise preoccupied when he's with Sirius.

"It's a good book," Remus defends.

James rolls his eyes and says, "Yeah, sure, and the Pope's a polygamist."

Remus gives a slightly exasperated sigh and looks over at Sirius, who has his hand raised. Remus raises an eyebrow. "Yes?" he says.

Sirius puts his hand down and grins. "Yes. Ah. What's a Pope?"

"Yes, and what is a poly... whatever?" Peter says from behind a bookshelf, where he is fingering through a History of Magic textbook, looking bored.

Remus looks over at James and waits for him to explain, since he started the conversation, but he's settled down in a comfortable chair with an early 70s Quidditch annual and looks completely detached from them. Remus rolls his eyes.

"The Pope is the head of the Muggle Catholic Church," Remus explains. "He's an authority figure. Like the figurehead, I suppose. Polygamists have multiple wives, and the Pope is celibate."

Sirius nods, amused, but Peter sticks his head around the edge of the bookcase and says, "Celi-what?"

"Celibate, Pete," Sirius says, sounding slightly pained at Peter's naïvety. "Not allowed to have sex."

Peter chokes slightly and turns pink almost instantly at the unexpected mention of sex. He promptly disappears back behind the bookcase to search for more history books.

Sirius giggles and Remus looks at him, amused. He realises suddenly that he really likes it when Sirius smiles, and then he realises that this is exactly what James and Peter meant by their little intervention.

Remus sighs and attempts to turn his attention back to Tolstoy.

"Mooneeey," Sirius whines. "Don't tell me you're going ignore me this whole time."

"I'm reading," Remus says distractedly.

Sirius rolls his eyes. "I personally think I'm way more interesting than some stuffy Victorians."

"Georgians," Remus corrects. "George III, it's set in 1805. Although, technically, not Georgians; it's set in Russia. The ruler of Russia in 1805 was Tsar Alexander I, although Catherine the Great has a lot of influence, actually, they still have to speak French -"

Sirius deliberately bangs his head on the table so hard that the table shakes and Remus jumps, his book falling out of his hands and onto the table, snapping shut.

"Sirius!" Remus shouts. The librarian hisses his disgust at the pair of them, but neither boy takes heed.

"Moony," Sirius says with his head still on the desk. "Must you bore me so, with your endless facts?"

Remus snorts and reopens War and Peace, turning to the page he was on previously. "Apparently I must."

"Well, I wish you'd stop boring me," Sirius says into the table. "It's a nice day. We should be out and about, making mischief."

"I don't like nice days," Remus says absently. "And I don't like mischief."

"Yes, you do. You love mischief," Sirius says, "but I could at least be asleep right now."

"It's not even eight."

"I'm getting tired in my old age."

Remus rolls his eyes. "Why do you want to sleep? You hate sleep. You barely sleep five hours a night."

Sirius doesn't lift his head up from the table, instead he mumbles into it. "We wouldn't have to actually sleep."

"What's the point in going back to the dormitory then?" Remus chuckles.

"Hm," Sirius lifts up his head and smirks. "We could snuggle."

Remus chokes on his spit. James bursts out laughing behind his Quidditch annual, and Peter squeaks, not unlike his rat persona, and hits his head on the bookshelf.

"Uh," Remus attempts to recover quickly and grins at Sirius. "You'll have to take me to dinner first."

"Ah," Sirius laughs and lays his head back down on the table. His hair splays out over War and Peace. "Playing hard to get, I see."

Remus shakes the Tolstoy novel to rid it of Sirius' hair and chuckles. "If you pay for dinner, I'll come."

"Damn. Playing really hard to get," Sirius says into the table. "Not to worry. I'll pin you down yet, Moon."

James quietly groans, exasperated, into page 60 of Quidditch: 1972. Remus can't help but think that the same kind of reaction is going on inside his head.

* * *

Sirius and James sit on a wall at the edge of the castle, staring out over the Lake and eating a Chocolate Frog. James supposes that this is a good time for a heart-to-heart, except he is rubbish at those. He decides against it.

It's early in the morning, before breakfast. Sirius had woken James up by banging about as he was getting changed for one of his early morning walks. James had decided he might as well come along, if he was already awake and feeling slightly sentimental (it is their last year, after all. They don't have many more opportunities for memories like these).

"Prongs?" Sirius says after a while of sitting in a comfortable, familiar silence.

James swallows his mouthful of chocolate and looks at his friend. Sirius isn't looking at him, but towards the Forest. "Yeah?"

"I think I'm in love."

James rolls his eyes. He's heard this before; Sirius is a serial romantic, even if he is in denial over who he's actually in love with. Perhaps they're going to end up having a heart to heart after all.

"Yeah?" he says, "with whom? Because if it's that Hufflepuff girl with the wonky pigtails that you brought along to Hogsmeade I'm going to say a solid don't. She's nice and all, but she's painful to listen to -"

"No," Sirius interrupts. "No - James, I think I'm actually in love. Properly. Really."

James lowers the Frog from his mouth slowly. "Ah," he says. This time Sirius means it. James reckons he must, due to the use of his actual name rather than his nickname.

"With whom?" James says quietly, although he has a sneaking suspicion he already knows.

Sirius clasps his hands together and looks up at him. "With... oh, fuck. Don't laugh."

James shakes his head. "Wouldn't dare," he mumbles.

"With Remus, James."

"Oh," James says, not daring to smile unless it's mistaken for a laugh. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't relieved. "Yeah, I know."

Sirius gapes at him. "Wait, what? How? I haven't told anyone! It was a secret! Even I didn't know up until recently. Do I talk in my sleep?"

"Uh, no," James says. "But it is painstakingly obvious. Peter and I have been slowly driven insane by your continuous flirting and unrequited love for one another." He takes a bite of his Frog and says, with his mouth full, "sickening, really."

"Oh," Sirius says. "Well, then."

James hmms and then they sit in silence for a few more minutes.

"What do you suggest I do about it?" Sirius says tentatively.

"I suggest that you tell him," James says without hesitation.

Sirius doesn't say anything. James considers telling him that Remus returns his affections, but thinks it best that they do it themselves.

"Are you really okay with this?" Sirius says in a low voice. "I mean... Uncle Alphard fell in love with a man and he... uh, they burned him off the family tree."

James' brow furrows. He has always hated the way the Blacks were and the way they looked at society, or other people. He is immensely proud of Sirius for standing up to them, even if he never said it out loud. It went without saying.

"Of course I'm okay with it, you prat," he says, finally. And then, "your family are assholes."

Sirius nods, looking slightly elated. "Yes, they are, aren't they?"

Neither of the two say anything for quite a while, until, after another Frog between them, Sirius mutters a quiet, "thanks, Prongs."

James pretends not to hear. Instead, he stares out at the sunrise. Sirius likes this about James.

Two hours later, at breakfast, Remus watches as Sirius and James saunter into the Great Hall ten minutes late. Peter spreads jam on to his toast and doesn't seem to notice the pair until Remus talks.

"Where have you been?" he asks them. "You weren't in the dormitory this morning. Peter and I have been a bit worried, actually -"

"Shut up, Remus," Sirius says with a goofy grin on his face.

Remus chokes slightly, surprised. "I beg your pardon! I -"

Sirius grabs the front of Remus' jumper, pulls him up so he is standing in front of him, reaches up on his tiptoes and kisses him. 

James shouts, "ho!" at the top of his voice and the entire Great Hall seems to fall silent. Sirius' hands rest on the front of Remus' jumper, and Remus has slung his arms around Sirius' neck. James hears Professor Dumbledore cheering from the professor's table.

"About bloody time," Peter mutters with his mouth full of toast.

"Hmm, yes, Wormtail. I dare say I agree," James agrees, then drops his fork onto his plate where it clatters horribly. He pales as Peter stares at him.

"Oh, no," James says.

"What?" Peter asks with a mouthful of toast. He's confused.

James looks at Peter, horrified. "We're going to have to deal with this in our dormitory."

Peter chokes on his toast.

* * *

 

"We get it! We all wanted you together, but stop!" Peter yells, launching a handful of Every-Flavour Beans at Remus and Sirius.

The couple are lying on one of the common room sofas, making out lazily in front of the fire. James is ignoring them and polishing his broom in silence, and Peter is trying to ignore them but failing.

James sighs, stops polishing and looks over at Peter, defeated. "It's no use," he says. "We've lost them."

"You've not lost us, you bloody moron," Remus mumbles in between kisses.

Peter shudders. "You guys are gross."

Sirius looks up at him and grins. "We could be much worse than this, Pete. Want a demonstration?"

Peter makes a disgusted noise and Remus laughs, shoving Sirius off him before he actually gives a demonstration. Remus wouldn't put it past him.

Sirius pouts as Remus sits up and leans against the back of the sofa. "Mooneeey," he whines. Remus ignores him.

James and Remus exchange a grin. Yeah, James thinks. I can deal with this.


End file.
